It’s been at least nine years since the first orthopedic doctor told me that my shoulder was severely advanced arthritis for my age, and that I was heading for a total shoulder replacement. That was when I was 41? 40, maybe? I remember I was doing CrossFit and thought, “Oh, maybe the pain wasn’t going away.” I stopped being able to put my arm around my back to do my bra, take my sports bras on and off. So, it became worse and worse. It felt like you could feel the grinding, like I wanted to just always pop my shoulder out.
Of course, immediate denial—”How could that be? I’m only 41.”
So eight years later, seven years later, whatever, I’ve been to seven or eight different surgeons, different offices. Everyone has told me total shoulder replacement is now clearly the only option.
I’ve run out of all conservative options, and the last surgeon that I met, I did not like, and he just didn’t have a nice bedside manner, blah blah blah. He was short. He was rude. He thought any questions I had were obnoxious. I asked about the procedure and a technical question you said that’s for me to worry about and then I was built about $800 not even 15 minute appointment he may be done a couple of shoulder replacement a year.
At that point, my closest allies were my fear, instructor and owner at 94 Pilates and all my girls there. They saw me on a daily basis, working hard, yet really constricted with pain and major loss of range of motion. They were constantly supportive and helping me continue my fitness journey because despite the shoulder, I did lose almost 40 pounds going to Pilates daily, hiking, and doing n30 day hCG diet without the HCG that really reset my metabolism. And then continued low alcohol use and healthy eating.
It was through 94 Pilates that I had the recommendation from another male client, bodybuilder, boxer who had gone through a Total shoulder replacement with Dr. Gulotta at HSS.
I found Dr. Gulotta easily on the web. I reached out to them. They wanted images that I had. I sent a letter explaining my background and a copy of the MRI report. I did make one mistake and I had my phone number has been cut off so it took maybe six weeks or so as the summer had started and I thought I was OK and just so busy with the kids still living with a daily pain and lack of range of motion. Finally followed up and they said you’ve been trying to contact. You didn’t have the full phone number at that point they quickly got me into the Westchester office.
I had already waited a year thinking February is the best time, although it’s basketball season it’s better than spring season. And I wanted the motivation of being able to swim laps again and get my arm around to do freestyle which I haven’t been able to do in our new pool all summer 💔💔
He is the chief shoulder surgeon—and it’s like, maybe he’ll say I don’t need it. But he came in after the PA had looked at me and looked at my MRI, and they said, “Your total shoulder replacement is the only option. It’s the only thing I would do,” he said, “to fix what’s going on.” And at this point, it is a medical necessity, but it’s elective as far as timing.
So here I am. I’m scared as shit. About to go in Monday finally, after this nine-year rollercoaster of going from denial—”This can’t be”—to everything conservative, to living in pain, to having limited mobility, to not being able to play sports or swim with the kids, put on clothes comfortably, sleep well, because the pain, if I sleep on it, wakes me up, it’s so painful. So here I am.
The MRI showed at some point I was dislocated and put back wrong and went back into his place wrong. I think of all the wild things I’ve done the double jointed, putting my arms over my head and stepping over them like a jump rope on the climbing of trees, swinging on the jungle gym, gymnastics in the backyard all the swimming and diving. Butterfly. 200 IMs. 100 butterflies . 500 M free . All of the relays. The Diving team made impromptu to win Section 9. All of the Basketball the softball centerfield stretching my left arm all of just the Crazy play as a kid being rough on the waitress thing carrying trees over my head and furniture the multiple multiple moves I’ve made from apartments the houses to Miami and back to New York City to Ridgewood to Middletown to Warwick, the carrying babies and toddlers . To endless workouts and weights and training. Triathalons. Swimming wild and free in the oceans and lakes. Paddle boarding, Golfing, kayaking…
Live Life Free 